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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Ten Weird Jobs That Real People Do for a Living

By Scott Lindsay


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Hate your job? Looking for a change? Maybe you'd be good at one of these weird jobs. These employees know they have weird jobs, but most say it beats sitting behind a desk or flipping burgers all day long:

1) Coffee bean sampler: Have you ever been in Starbucks and seen those cutesy little descriptions beside each variety of coffee bean? They usually read something like this: "A mildly sweet roast with coconut topnotes and a smooth finish, this bean is reminiscent of an early morning walk on a Hawaiian beach." Not only do you have to have an impeccable palette for this job, you also need a flair for creative writing. Those who do say they have the best weird job in the world: what's not to like about getting paid to drink coffee all day long?

2) Kangaroo surrogate: Baby kangaroos must live in their mother's pouches for several months to one year. If a suitable marsupial replacement mother can't be found for an abandoned joey, a human kangaroo surrogate is enlisted. The surrogate must commit to carrying the joey around in a pouch at all times on his or her abdomen for a full year. Yes, that means going to the grocery store, the library, the hairdresser and even the beach attached to a joey. It's a big commitment but many kangaroo surrogates say seeing the joey grow up into a healthy kangaroo is worth the inconvenience.

3) Professional mascot: Next time you go to a professional baseball or basketball game, take a look at the team mascot. This guy (or girl... who can tell?) gets paid to dance around, slap player's butts and make a fool of himself. Best of all, when he leaves work no one recognizes him.

4) Weed grower: Not the marijuana variety, these farmers grow real weeds, the kind most homeowners and gardeners try their best to get rid of. "Who in the world would pay for weeds?" you might ask. Science labs, universities and horticulture classes do. If not for them, we wouldn't have discovered the best ways to get them out of our lawns.

5) Futurist: If you were one of those kids who imagined inventing a machine that would clean your room for you and also make cotton candy and dispense soda, you might have a serious shot at this weird but real job. Manufacturers hire these people for their imaginations, plus science and sociology knowledge. They pay them to come up with ideas for future inventions, things that people might want in, say, twenty years. Futurists also predict changes in technology that might warrant the invention of a product that will compliment that new, as-yet-uninvented technology. (Who do you think came up with the idea of the Internet?)

6) Aircraft repossessor: Think auto repo-man on steroids. This guy has to be bouncer-tough with nerves of steel. It's a great job for ex-pilots who've always wanted to make a living knocking heads and intimidating people. The thrill of driving an airplane down a runway with a conclave of angry pilots and hangar boys following behind you, screaming and waving their fists is just too much for some adrenaline junkies to resist.

7) Nit-picker: Literally! These entrepreneurial types have found their niche in the business of head lice removal. Over 80% of their clients are the parents of children who picked up these unfortunate pests at school or daycare. Lice and nit removal literally takes hours to perform on just one head, a job that many of today's parents simply don't have time for (or find too distasteful). Believe it or not, this weird job pays pretty well, and work is creepily steady.

8) Professional pooper scooper: Let's face it, if you had only 30 minutes a day to spend on your dog, wouldn't you rather go toss a ball in the park than pick up poop? Busy dog owners barely have time to walk their dogs, let alone clean up after them. It's a good thing these guys will do it for them.

9) Synthetic hair weaver: Realistic dolls don't get their hair inserted in plugs by machines like Barbie dolls. Collector dolls and those realistic, life-size ones and even some mannequins have their hair woven in one strand at a time by a human being. Those who do it usually get pretty adept at hair-weaving over time, but it's still a tedious job. The companies that sell these dolls and mannequins depend on them looking realistic, so competent hair weavers are often in demand.

10) Life model: Confused? That's actually just the modern, politically-correct term for "nude model." (It has a much more professional ring to it, don't you think?) No matter what you call it, these guys and girls pose naked for a living, but not for porn. They serve as models for artists and art schools/classes for those who want to learn how to draw the human anatomy correctly and proportionately. Talk about getting exposure for your career....

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